Order 67

Rating: PG  Genre: Historical Fiction/Action

Author’s note: Ch.2 is up! If you’re looking for it, do ctrl+f and type in “Chapter Two”.

Chapter 1- Zippy’s Disappearance

ACP leader Oagalthorp shuffled through some files at the ACP HQ on Mammoth on a sunny July day. Oagal hated filing day, but hey, with constant action must come those tedious hours in your office. Suddenly, Fort57, ACP co-leader, barged in.

“Oagal, we’ve got a situation at the Forts!” he barked.

“What is it this time?” Oagal groaned.

Oagal knew these “situations” all too well. It was normally some odd small army with some cheap handguns. The most memorable “situation” was when 20 pink penguins in bunny hats marched on the server and claimed themselves to be the Pink Bunny Army or PBA. They had no lethal or deadly weapons, unless you count carrots. They just kept harassing the ACP troops on eating veggies, and well, veggies are the bane of most ACP troops. So the troops were scared out of their wits that day.

“It’s the Nachos, they’re raiding and planting mines everywhere. It’s so damn annoying and 5 of our troops are in the hospital because of explosions,” Fort growled. “We have to rally the troops to eradicate the threat.”

“I’m on it,” Oagal murmured.

Within an hour, the ACP’s whole fighting force was out on patrol. The ACP tech squad was working hard today tracking down potential land mines. When suddenly Oagal heard an explosion at the plaza. The 21st light infantry was stationed there, and if they were against the Nacho Tank division, they were screwed like hell. Oagal and Fort got there by helicopter. Oagal cursed. To he and Fort’s dismay, the plaza was practically drowning in cheese colored tanks.

“Yup, we’re screwed”, Fort said.
“Hey, who said we didn’t try?” Said Oagal.

The two leaders called in the air force and the anti-tank divisions. Oagal jumped out of the helicopter in a parachute while Fort rallied reinforcements. The light infantry was being crushed. The tanks were destroying the makeshift fortifications like TNT and ice. Maimed and dead penguins in green uniforms lie scattered on the streets.

“ACP to pizza parlor!” Oagal hollered through the chaos. The ACP troops followed their leader’s order with little reluctance, eager to get a sanctuary from the Nacho tank force. Oagal knew that taking a rest in the pizza parlor would only be temporary; they could not stay in there forever. If they tried, the Nachos would blow it up somehow. The building was originally intended to be a back-up fort in case something happened to the HQ, but in a situation like this you have to use all your resources. That’s when Oagal heard the Nachos’ problem.
Outside on the street was the Nacho 2ic Akabob22 with a megaphone.

“Hand over our leader, Zippy5000!” Aka yelled into the megaphone. “We’ve cornered your forces, so hand him over and we’ll have mercy on you.”

Oagal blinked. Kidnapping? Did Aka really think that the great ACP would resort to abduction? He grimaced, Then again, he thought, I know an army or two that would do that.

Oagal walked out the door without hesitation.
“We didn’t take Zippy, but I suspect a few armies that would”, Oagal said matter-of-factly. He held out his hand. “Come in. If you want to save your leader we must talk.”
Aka walked into the parlor, curious what the two leaders would do about this.

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Chapter 2- The Slaughter

Aka read over the intelligence files carefully in his office on Blizzard. Yesterday’s meeting with Oagal had given him assurance that the ACP had not taken Zippy, but it had only give birth to a new question: Who did?

The door opened, revealing a tidy penguin in a suit with a sombrero. It was Nacho Intelligence agent, ****, with a disc in hand.

“Sir, I think we have found the little jerks who kidnapped Lord Zippy. We found the intel recorded on a surveillance cam implanted on Mammoth, and it appears the ACP have a problem,” **** said coolly. He inserted the disc into the DVD player, and an image popped into the screen. The video quality was a little hazy, but good enough to know what’s going on.

“Load him up, boys!” called a a penguin. He wore a brown shroud with a black sheathe and watched as a few penguins carried off a tied-up penguin in a green uniform–Fort57.

“You’re just angry over the PBA,” Fort yelled as the penguins carried into a supply truck. “ACP won that battle fair and square, Fuzzyfoot. You know it!”

“LIES!! Thats all you ACP say. Bombing carrotcake factories is a PBA National offense.. Of course, the PBA never got that chance for revenge, but now the Puppies of CP will avenge the Pink Bunnies!” Distraught, Fuzzy unsheathed an… aluminum baseball bat? “Drop him boys. I can’t kill him yet, but I can beat him to near death, heal him, and repeat..”

Fuzzy’s henchmen dropped Fort on the snow-caked ground, and Fuzzy began the bloodbath. He smacked Fort, over and over again with the silver bat… At first, it only seemed like bruises, but in minutes there was a puddle of blood. And another… And another… Fort showed no sign of pain. He was silent and conscious. A true soldier shows no pain till the end, Aka thought. He couldn’t bear to watch anymore and shut off the screen.

“So,” Aka said. “How long did the slaughter actually last?”

**** grimaced. “Sir, not all information is good for you. That’s why they train us Nacho Intelligence Agents to hold no emotion, even when seeing the ugliest things.”

“How long?” Aka asked again.

**** gulped. “The slaughter lasts for a total of 4 hours.. Fort looked like a bloody heap by then, but was still conscious. They loaded him into the truck and took him southward. We didn’t track ‘em, though.”

Aka stared at his stack of papers, unable to say anything. Finally with all his might he swallowed the lump in his throat. ”Prepare the messengers. Tell them to go to the base of all the major armies and invite them in for an evening meeting at the Blizzard Pizza Parlor tomorrow.  Tell them that dinner’s on me. Also, ready the generals. A storm is coming so we might as well start operations at the COW.”

**** nodded, and went off to alert everyone.

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June 8th, 2008

“Sir, are you sure you want to attend Aka’s meeting? I hear bad news only worsens mental health..”

“I’m fine, Keswick.” Oagal said as he put on his best suit. “You worry too much.”

He tightened his tie and prepared to make a flight to Blizzard in the ACP Jet. Keswick, the annoying life advisor, would follow him. As he walked through the HQ, one of the female generals, Trinityfire, lit up when she saw him. Oagal frowned. I’ve known Trinity for a long time. She wouldn’t forget her duties–would she?

“Oagal, you look nice in a suit! Would you like me to accompany you to Blizzard? I have a black belt in judo, in case anyone tries to assassinate you. I hear the Nachos have quite interesting…. activities.” She finished warily.

“Uh, no thank you.. I hear an instructor at the ACPTR  is out sick today. Would you be so kind to take over today?” Oagal asked uncomfortably.

“Of course.” She walked away looking disappointed. Keswick glared at Oagal. What the heck did I do? 

They took an armored car to the ACP airport, as they boarded their flight, Keswick gave Oagal some of his “wisdom”.

”Why don’t you just retire, Oagal? Just like you originally planned. You could have a nice family.. I mean, seriously. All the girls the ACP office go goo-goo when they see you. Why did you go and tick Trinity off, anyway? SHE’S NOT UGLY.”

Oagal yawned.”I’m taking a nap. This flight lasts for 3 hours anyway.”

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Fuzzyfoot, and a few other small army leaders gathered at the underground base.

“How do you suppose we eliminate Oagal and the major army 2ics?” Paloaoko, leader of the Cheeseboyz. “Our spies report that they will be gathering at the Blizzard Pizza Parlor.’

“The army has lent us some of the best prototype military equipment they have,” Fuzzyfoot responded. “We take Blizzzard by storm and bomb the plaza especially. With this many small armies attacking, the Nacho force will be disoriented.”

“Hello, gentlemen.”

Everyone turned their heads and bowed. The penguin in the black shroud laughed.

“As leader of this great alliance, I proclaim that we have gone far. The other armies have always had a grudge against my fatherland, for our superiority. However, with my weapons, your cunning, and all of our soldiers, we can eradicate all of those major armies… We must make our move in a few hours, so get ready to move the troops. Meanwhile, how are our guests?” The penguin purred.

A penguin opened an iron door. Behind it there were cages containing the following leaders–Iceyfeet1234, Commando717, Fort57, Zippy5000. Fort looked the most abused out of all them with a bruise ridden face.

“Ah. Your armies will meet their demise soon…”

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June 8th, 2008 / 7 PM EST/ Blizzard Pizza Parlor

Aka sat at the table reserved for 5. The army 2ics began to arrive, with an actually leader coming in last.

“I’m here to address the current problems in the CPA community,” said Aka, his eyes narrowing to the UMA 2ic, Trickster. ” But first, let’s order dinner. You mustn’t  have an important meeting without food.”

They just ordered pepperoni pizzas. Aka, being a Nacho, said he wanted the strongest beer they could find, while the other penguins ordered just water.

“Now, a majority of our leaderships are currently MIA at the moment,” Aka began. “But there is one army here whose leader has not been reported missing, but absent at the table.” His eyes turned back to Trickster.

Trickster cleared his throat. “Gentlemen, do not make assumptions. Itachi is sick, so I’m here instead. Aka, you have no right to accuse UMA. The Nachos have broken quite a bit of allied agreements, if my memory serves right. Remember the Damn Spy Act, meaning the major armies would cripple their intelligence agencies and super-penguin research? I think your army failed to comply.” Trickster looked at his watch. “My, my look at the time. I must be getting back to the UMA base, they should be getting higher than the Empire State* by now.”

He walked out the Pizza Parlor in a hurry.

Aka watched him, and when he was surely out of sight and mind, he produced one manilla file from his satchel. The satchel was yellow with pretty rhinestones.

Oagal raised an eyebrow. Albert417 (IW 2ic) coughed. RPF 2ic Cassius just grinned.

“I didn’t know you were a homosexual, Aka, just like the Roman Emperor Nero,” Cas said candidly. “Only a gay man carries a purse used by women.”

“Ahem, back to the subject,” Oagal interrupted. “What’s in the files?”

“Pure evidence compiled by the Nachos Intelligence Agency,” Aka said, eager to change the subject. ”I don’t see any of you gentlemen implanting cameras on every server. Anyway, according to all this data, the UMA has been selling firearms, steroids, alcohol, etc. to small armies for cheap prices. Among that, they have been selling prototype war tech too. These include cyborgs, drones, robot-driven helicopters, missile-firing robots, 3-way flaming tanks, etc.”

He showed some pictures of odd helicopters and a tank with flames streaming out openings. “This tank was used by some small armies in a raid on Fjord. If you look closely, you will find out it has the UMATC or Underground Mafias Army Tech Center insignia. Of course, it was a prototype and backfired on the small armies. It went boom on them. We have calculated that the kidnappers of our dear leaders may be hiding on Mittens, the base of UMA operations. I suggest we take action tomorrow in the morning, and take down Mittens. All in favor, say aye.”

Everyone said aye.

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